"My sails are always ready, my anchor always stowed. And though I found my harbor, I set sail again, because that’s what ships were meant to do."
-- Prescott Reynolds
Re: My Neon Work Fashion Choices
  • Ben: So you hate bright colors, right?
  • Me: Totally.
  • Ben: Knew it.

Hipsters WISH they were this cool.
  • Andreas: There is an alarming lack of banjo music in this lab.
  • Me: ...Can you play the banjo?
  • Andreas: No, but I am 3D printing a banjolele.

RE: Losing weight
  • Me: But you are so huggable.
  • My Real-Life Schmidt: I'll still be huggable. Only in a sexier, menage a trois sorta way.
  • Me: JAR.

Friends let friends roll around in their hard-earned cash.

Friends let friends roll around in their hard-earned cash.

Little People Problems
  • Me: Some wrestling match. I tried to tackle you with my entire body weight, but you didn't even move.
  • Brooklyn Boy: Oh, that was a tackle? I thought you were hugging me from behind. I thought it was nice.


I take my laundry to the wash and fold next door, and it’s owned by the nicest Asian couple on earth. Wait, nicest Asian man—his wife is kind of miserable. But the husband, what a gem!

I see him getting on the bus sometimes, and he’s never not smiling. He waves at me emphatically from across the street, and I feel like he likes me as much as I like him. We have a thing going on. 

He speaks maybe four or five words of English: “Hello!” “Tomorrow morning!” “Okay!” “Bye bye!” We understand each other.

When I dropped off my laundry this morning, he got a phone call from a man yelling about a sweater. When he hung up the phone, he asked me, “Sweater?”

Me: “Sweater.”

Him: “Sweater. Yes, yes! Sweater?”

Me: “Umm… Yes?”

Him: “Sweater?”

Me: “It’s… like, a SWEAT-ER. Like, what IS a SWEAT-ER?”

Him: “Sweater!”

Me: “OK. [Looks for sweater on the rotation rack. No sweater. Points to scarf.] Like this. Knit. KNIT! But BULKY. LARGE. LAAAARGE.”

Him: “…”

Me: [Looks for sweater. Finds a sweater!] “This! SWEATER!” Him: “Yes. Sweater.”

He knew what a sweater was the whole time! So I think that exchange was us getting Asian married.

Oh my God. I want him in my life. Nicole too.

I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.

(Source: herarbitrarymusings)

Excerpts from today's conversations
  • Me: This is a Thug Hat, not a Homeless Hat. Know the difference!
  • ...
  • The Brother: You ain't more thug.
  • Me: Well, I'm the one wearing the thug hat.
  • The Brother: That's like saying Dumb is the smart one in Dumb & Dumber.
  • Me: Well, he is, because English.
  • ...
  • Me: Dejame en paz!
  • The brother: You think talking in that crazy ching-chong language I don't understand is gonna make me stop?