"My sails are always ready, my anchor always stowed. And though I found my harbor, I set sail again, because that’s what ships were meant to do."
-- Prescott Reynolds
Wednesday Quick Advice Bonus Round

thatwhitebitch:

On 20/20 Hindsight
“I can laugh about it now,” - Lorena Bobbitt

On Accepting Compliments
Man in elevator: “Not to be weird, but do you always look this nice at the end of the day?”
Me: “No, I just put on a gallon of makeup.”

On Chilling Out
Try calling your problems “problemos.” They’re less serious then.

On Facebook Birthday Wishes
An e-dick goes a long way. That’s one number “8,” as many equal signs as you fancy, and one upper-case “D.”

On Friendship
“If you need moral support, I’ll be there with an IV drip of tequila and a Justin Bieber mixtape,” - my friend Jodi

On Haters
“You can kiss my whole asshole,” - Jay-Z

On Injustice
Snooki reportedly made $750,000 in 2010.

On Keeping Your Man
One time I liked a guy and I invited him over to help me plant some flowers (not a euphemism). I played one of Robin Thicke’s albums during this occasion. He never called me back.

On Not Having Regrets
“I got to take a month and a half off from school, go hang out with a bunch of hot, cute-ass girls all day—the Bratz—and get paid for it. So, I thought it was awesome. No regrets about the ‘Bratz’ movie. No regrets. Straight up.” - Tom Hank’s son Chet Haze about appearing in the Bratz movie

On Saving Money
This entry is empty.

On Taz Tattoos
Generally not a good idea.

On That Cunt Bitch Alyssia
“Why don’t you fuck off to that cunt bitch Alyssia? She was fucking making eyes at me, she’d have sucked me in five minutes.” - Mel Gibson

On Working Out
Don’t eat a bunch of raisins before you do it. Trust me.

Do you want some advice? Hit me up.


❝The other moral is all those assholes were so rude and they can suck my dick.❞
( ThatWhiteBitch, re: those kids in elementary school who mock their more motivated peers.)


❝Quite simply, I was in love with New York. I do not mean “love” in any colloquial way, I mean that I was in love with the city, the way you love the first person who ever touches you and you never love anyone quite that way again. I remember walking across Sixty-second Street one twilight that first spring, or the second spring, they were all alike for a while. I was late to meet someone but I stopped at Lexington Avenue and bought a peach and stood on the corner eating it and knew that I had come out out of the West and reached the mirage. I could taste the peach and feel the soft air blowing from a subway grating on my legs and I could smell lilac and garbage and expensive perfume and I knew that it would cost something sooner or later – because I did not belong there, did not come from there – but when you are twenty-two or twenty-three, you figure that later you will have a high emotional balance, and be able to pay whatever it costs. I still believed in possibilities then, still had the sense, so peculiar to New York, that something extraordinary would happen any minute, any day, any month.❞



❝But honestly, if you come here, you can be my Brunch Buddy.❞
(NYC friend)


❝There are billions of people in this world, but life is long and you’ll never believe the insane ways that the people you meet and kiss and hate and date will intertwine and overlap. Nothing in my life has served me more than being as effervescent as I can in every situation I face. So say hi like it never happened and move on like he doesn’t exist. There is nothing more alarming to a man than a woman who is kind and couldn’t care less.❞


❝This is a bad town for such a pretty face.❞
(Gin Wigmore, Kill Of The Night)


❝When I first met you, I felt a kind of contradiction in you. You’re seeking something, but at the same time, you are running away for all you’re worth.❞
(Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore)


❝I did it all.
I owned every second
That this world could give.
I saw so many places,
The things that I did…
Yeah, with every broken bone,
I swear I lived.❞
(OneRepublic, I Lived)


❝There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.❞