Profound graffiti spotted on Market Street.
(San Francisco, CA)
Get stuck. Stay in one place your whole life. Always order vanilla even though the menu is four pages long. Become the type of person who sends back lattes. Save up your money for a plasma TV instead of a plane ticket. Talk a lot about things you know nothing about. Have an affair with someone you don’t even find attractive.
Refuse to forget your ex. Make it impossible for yourself to do anything without remembering that you used to do it with them. Hug your knees under the sheets and think about how safe you felt when they held you at night. Remind yourself daily of how empty you feel. Find new ways to make yourself sad.
Get drunk all the time. Consider no Saturday night, national holiday or extended happy hour complete without a vodka-induced breakdown. Graduate college but keep drinking like you’re still in it. Notice that cheap beer tastes watery and stale when you drink it alone but drink it anyway. Look at old Facebook photos wasted and wonder where everyone went.
Never drink. Never do anything that could potentially be “bad” for you. Treat your body like the temple it is and say no to carbs, yes to wheatgrass, go to bed at ten sharp and turn down cake on your birthday. Take fifteen different dietary supplements. Monitor carefully. Succumb to nothing. Miss out on everything.
Compare yourself constantly, to everyone. Allow the standards of image-obsessed, age-obsessed culture to make you feel decrepit at 25. Scroll through skinny girls on Tumblr feeling wistful and inadequate. Pull at the skin on your hipbones, stomach, and underarms in the mirror. Sigh a lot. Sigh all the time.
Don’t fall in love with anyone or anything. Put an impenetrable wall between yourself and other people. Add a fire-breathing dragon and eight yards of barbed wire. Be suspicious of everyone’s motives. Hold grudges long after you’ve forgotten what for.
Fall in love with everyone and everything. Run after the next best thing like it’s a bus you’re perpetually late for. Throw your heart into every other stranger’s hands and be genuinely surprised to be hurt. Refuse to learn. Refuse to ever learn.
Craisins : All expenses paid trip around the world :: Raisins : A 20% off coupon to a motel 5 miles outside of the Wisconsin Dells
…If the greatest adversity you face is some nitwit asking if you’re planning to work at Starbucks for the rest of your life because you majored in English, kindly remind him that Starbucks has great benefits and really great lattes. And then throw one in his face. Just kidding, tell him your mom works there with a confused look on your face. Kidding again; tell him you’re not worried about money because you’ve got something on the side and then wink at him. Kidding! Ask him if he’s happy slinging insurance. Sorry! I’m done.
Look… You are never going to make everyone happy with your decisions, but that’s why they’re called your decisions – they’re only supposed to make you happy.
Now go be nice to your local barista because some people actually do work at Starbucks and most of them are pretty nice. And by nice I mean hot.❞
OMG NOTHING MAKES ME MORE NERVOUS THAN TRYING TO OPEN A CAN OF BISCUITS